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Researchers find that imagination plays a key role in how people experience romantic kissing, with potential benefits for couples’ therapy
New research from Abertay University published on Valentine's Day reveals that what makes a ‘good kiss’ has far more to do with our imagination and internal emotional world than the physical act itself.
Published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy, the study shifts attention away from the physical act of kissing and towards the internal thoughts and fantasies that influence how people experience it. While many people assume kissing helps spark sexual chemistry, these assumptions have rarely been tested scientifically.
To explore this idea, the researchers examined whether imagination influences how people judge the qualities involved in a ‘good kiss’.
The project involved an online survey completed by participants in the UK and Italy. They answered questions about their attitudes, experiences, and fantasies related to intimacy and kissing.
Participants rated the qualities they associate with good kissing, reflected on their own kissing ability, reported how often they experience intimate fantasies, and provided information on sexual desire. Together, these responses allowed the researchers to explore how cognitive and emotional factors influence kissing behaviours.
They found that people who often daydream about intimacy tend to place more importance on contact and arousal when deciding what makes someone a good kisser. This pattern held even when the researchers' considered factors like creativity and sexual desire, showing that imagination, and not just physical sensation, plays a key role in how we experience affection.
Dr Christopher Watkins, Senior Lecturer in the Department of Sociological and Psychological Sciences, said:
Our findings show that kissing is far more than a sensory experience. It’s shaped by the thoughts, fantasies, and emotional context we bring to it. Historically, certain strands of research on human sexuality have focused on sensory experiences and how we respond to physical stimulation, but our study highlights how imagination and internal states play an important role in how we interact with a partner when kissing them. By examining both the psychological and physical elements, we can better understand why people differ in how they use and appreciate kissing in their relationships, and why a single kiss can feel so meaningful.
Co-author Milena Rota, a PhD student at the University of Leicester who completed her undergraduate degree at Abertay, with her Honours project supervised by Dr Watkins, said:
By showing how fantasy shapes romantic behaviour, our research offers fresh insight into the role played by our thoughts in how we express ourselves in romantic contexts. Our research could be developed further as one simple tool within couples therapy, looking at how fantasy could guide behaviours – in this case a romantic kiss – where frequent kissing has previously shown to be related to higher quality romantic relationships.
